Friday, January 15, 2010

Now I'm pretty sure nobody will ever read this. However...

...I love myself more than even my closest friends think is possible. This is probably the beginning of something... that I will stop doing in a month or so. Anticlimactic? Yeah, I thought so too. But the truth generally isn't very interesting; which is why I've decided to make my entire blog a lie. Nothing you read here is going to be true. Ever. Like even what I just said. Did your head just explode? If so, you're welcome.

So I suppose it's fairly obvious what I'm going to write about here. I've decided to embrace the fact that the Internet is a giant forum for self-important schmucks and become (an even bigger) one myself. Ladies and gents, I give you... THINGS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT, BUT THAT I WILL TELL YOU ABOUT ANYWAY! [raise curtain, smattering of halfhearted applause] It will be just like being stuck on a bus with me when I'm in a good mood. You will be disgusted and annoyed, but you will not be able to switch seats. Actually, that didn't make a whole lot of sense.

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